Authenticity is a word that is thrown around a lot these days. Some might even say being authentic is on trend. But what exactly do they mean? What does authenticity look like?
Brené Brown puts it like this:
“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
So who do we think we’re supposed to be?
We all wear social masks at times. We’ve all bought into ideas about what is appropriate (and what not) and bought into notions of success that aren’t ours. They may have come from our parents, our friends, our cultural groups or society in general. But we let these ideas unconsciously permeate our minds, and before long we are creating a life in line with someone else’s idea of what a good-life looks like. We are pushing aside our true feelings and covering them up with expectations. We lose touch with our authenticity. We lose touch with our true desires, and we start living the life we believe we’re supposed to or have to.
Were you supposed to go after a corporate lifestyle because success looks like a suit, 9-5 and a high paid job? I bought into that one hook, line and sinker! (as I mention on my about page). Or were you supposed to be married by 30 in order to be “on-track” in life? Or are you meant to buy a large house in the suburbs, have 2.5 kids, a white picket fence, corporate job and a dog by the time you’re 35?
Have you stopped recently to really ask yourself what the “good-life” actually looks like to you if you were free to define it however you pleased? Or have you been swimming along unconsciously ticking all the boxes you thought you should?
Embracing who we are.
The second component to Brené Brown’s definition is that authenticity requires us to embrace who we are. Hmm…so who are you? With the general lack of connection to our true selves that most of us experience, and the layers upon layers of expectations we have taken on, answering this question (which seemingly looks so simple) can start to feel pretty damn hard.
I’ve been there. That pit of confusion where you wonder who the hell you are. Where you wonder if you even actually know yourself at all. I had a moment where I looked in the mirror and stared at myself with almost a foreign level of disconnection. I actually said out loud…“Who am I?” I had lost myself in the chaos and responsibility of modern life. But I was craving to know what made this woman that stood in front of me tick. What did I really want out of life? Standing there staring at myself in the mirror with a feeling of pure confusion was disconcerting to say the least, but those are the exact moments that you start to wake up to your authenticity. Without having the courage to ask yourself these questions, and have a willingness to delve into yourself and explore, you can never really be in touch with your authentic self. Authenticity requires that you truly connect and know who you are.
Embracing who we are is process, and it that starts with honesty, reflection and self-discovery. Staying connected with ourselves is a life-long journey. Brené touches on this when she says “the daily practice of…” Once you begin to connect with your inner guide and what authentically brings you alive, you need to remain connected which takes daily practice and commitment. The modern world is busy, crazy and loud. It’s easy to get caught up in it and swept away when we don’t have that firm connection with ourselves.
So how in touch are you with your authentic self? Are you embracing who you truly are?
If you’d like to connect more deeply with your Authentic Self, I have a free 5 Day Challenge to help you get started. It will be launching Monday 25th of January. If you’d like to join me, click here to read more and sign up! Kate xx