We all have moments in life that feel like a struggle. It just comes with the territory of being human.
It’s true; nobody said life would be easy, but sometimes it can feel just so damn hard. The plan going awry might include the end of a relationship, losing or changing a job, or dealing with a health crisis; or it might be a smaller hassles in life that still feel like they come out of nowhere. The fact is, life just likes to throw the odd curveball.
So how can we keep trucking along and getting through life even in the midst of feeling things are not going to plan? Here are 4 steps to help you keep moving forward:
- Give Yourself Permission to Sulk
We don’t all feel perky all of the time. If things aren’t going to plan it can make you feel pretty damn sucky to be honest. So I believe in giving yourself the permission to sulk for a bit. If you need to cry, cry. If you feel frustrated, write out your anger. Whatever the emotions, let them be for a little while. Obviously the caveat here is “for a little while”.
2. Do Something You Enjoy
Although I believe fully in letting the sucky emotions be, I also believe you will get to a point where you need to actively take responsibility for moving yourself through the less than desirable emotions. Sulking can be useful for a period, but it is never a good long term plan. I believe you often need to make a conscious decision to start moving yourself out of the sad emotions and put yourself back in control of your mood. The danger is that if you just see how you feel, and let things run their course, that you will fall into an unhelpful cycle of despair.
To move yourself forward I recommend stopping and doing something that you love. It doesn’t have to be grand, but give yourself permission to just indulge yourself. It may be picking yourself up a bunch of your favorite flowers, sitting down to have a cup of your favorite tea or having a deep-tissue massage. The key to this point is to something that will help lift your spirits up, even if it is only just a little.
3. Ask: What Can I Control?
So often the feelings of stress and overwhelm can come from feeling out of control. So once you have enough energy to face that things aren’t going to plan, stop and ask yourself “What is it that I can control?”
You may not be able to control the stuff you want to, or think you need to, but you will be able to control something; even if it is just your reaction to the situation. Write yourself a list of all the things you can control to help you feel like you are back in the driving seat of your life.
4. Get Action Focused
Hopefully by evaluating what you can control in the situation you can see what steps you need to take next. If the only thing you can control is your reaction, look for ways to foster acceptance of the situation, and ways to foster a positive mindset. If there are action points that you can get working on to improve the situation, or move things forward, don’t procrastinate and get going. Moving into action will always make you feel better. I believe it takes the excess emotional energy from your mind and puts it to work.
The pace at which you move through these steps will be dependent on the situation and how you feel about it. There are no right or wrong answers. Depending on how far you feel things have deviated from your plan will likely indicate how big the emotions you are dealing with are. You might go through these steps in the process of a few hours or it may take a few weeks. Either way, this four step process should help give you back a focus when life throws you that curveball.
Hi. I’m Kate Snowise and Thrive.How is my business-baby. I’m a Life & Executive Coach who helps people who want the good stuff out of life, get it. I’m passionate about helping people wake-up and start living on purpose. I have an MSc in Psychology (the happy kind of psychology that concentrates on what is right with you). I offer individual coaching that specifically helps people clarify their thinking, reconnect with their spirits, grow into their potential and re-gain balance. Click here to learn more.
To download a copy of my free mini-guide – 8 Tips Towards Creating a Thriving Life – click here.