I think we’ve been taught to look at our aching the wrong way.
Recently I was discussing with a friend, a person who was in intense physical pain. After an operation, they were still writhing around in pain due to the deep and invasive incision. From her body’s point of view, she had been invaded. Her miraculous body was running around trying to get the healing started. The pain was one of her symptoms.
It got me thinking about our emotional pain. It’s the pain that we can’t see any symptoms of on the outside. It doesn’t make us want to screw up our faces, but rather just hide away from the world and cry.
I think we often underestimate the power of emotional pain because we can’t see it. Yet it’s so real. It so hurts.
Perhaps many don’t respect it because it doesn’t demand either theirs or our attention in quite the same way that physical pain does?
Many of us have been taught to stuff it away, to man-up and keep going. To drug-up and keep trucking. Many of us view our internal pain as a sign of weakness and are afraid to let the world know just how much we are hurting. We view our pain as bad, and something we don’t want to own.
What would happen if you could accept your emotional pain? What if you could open the door to your pain rather than fight it? What if you didn’t try and resist it, but rather invited it in and asked to see what it had to teach you?
I’ve been prone to numbing my pain. I’m not talking trauma-induced pain…just the general discontent with life, existential type malaise. My go-to is complete avoidance. I got so good at it that by the time I got into my late 20’s I wasn’t all that great at feeling altogether. I call that disconnection.
Disconnection demonstrates the downside of running away from your pain. When you are disconnected you also run away from your joy.
Your emotional pain is no less important than physical pain. It is showing up to tell you that something is out of whack with the system. It is there to tell you that something needs to be addressed. It is demanding your attention. Don’t run from your pain.
And just like physical pain, emotional pain can also indicate the beginning of healing.
I challenge you to meet with your pain. I encourage you to use it as an opportunity to reflect on what you need from life and where things may be or have been out of whack. I want you to see your pain as not something to dislike, but rather something to embrace. A part of you. Listen to your pain and honor it.
Let your emotional pain be your teacher. Be its loyal student.
Our greatest beauty often stems from our deepest hurt. It is the hard stuff that can encourage us to look deeper and connect more fully. Your emotional pain can be your invitation to truly start to live. Take the invitation.
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Hi. I’m Kate Snowise. I’m a Life Coach and host of the Here to Thrive Podcast. I help people get clear on what they want, need and crave, and then helps them take the steps to move towards that.
I believe life is about more than surviving and being good enough. Each of us truly has the ability to thrive and live a beautiful, aligned life where we remember and connect with our authentic selves. I have an MSc in Psychology (the positive kind that concentrates on what is right with you). To read more about my signature coaching program The Thriving Life Project click here.
